REAL FRIENDS: is the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr / Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying 'Dawg ... we screwed up... but that was fun!'
FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back
REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you